Today marks My Guy’s and my five year anniversary. At times, it feels like just yesterday that we met. At other times, my single-self seems so very far away. Life changes when you commit to doing life with someone until death parts you.
Please don’t laugh too loudly, but I really was one of those girls who expected us to never fight or argue. But then, I also used to be less vocal about what I thought or wanted. Strengthening my voice is good for me…and loud for my marriage.
I remember way back in 2007 on a flight with a friend and noticing the book in her hands. It was Gary Thomas’ book Sacred Marriage (here on Amazon). The subtitle asks the question: “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” I was appalled. I mean, I knew marriage wasn’t all about personal happiness, but holiness??
Fast-forward seven years and I joined a book club in studying Sacred Marriage and found it to be insightful and beneficial and kind of fun. Life has a way of laughing at the former you.
But I digress.
I also remember the first few times My Guy and I had significant disagreements. Once I get fixated on fixing something, whether a room’s colors or an item of furniture or a relationship issue, my mind is consumed by that project. So we’d argue, we’d go to bed, and I’d be awake all night wondering if my marriage was over. Ridiculous.
What’s even more ridiculous is, for the life of me, I can’t come up with a single example of what got me so hot and bothered. It could be my mind is slipping, but I’m more inclined to believe that the issues were so insignificant that we both forgot about them. Yet at the time, I thought the world was ending.
When My Guy and I first started dating, I told my mom that when I was around him, he helped me slow down. Instead of living life at my usual 110mph, he got me closer to a healthy 65. That was simply one of the first benefits I saw to doing life together. Hollywood talks about your soul mate “completing you,” which I think is both a hilarious and dangerous mindset, but My Guy truly brings balance to my life.
I’m serious; he can be serious…when necessary…sometimes.
I’m type A, trying to do it all yesterday; he’s convinced that everything that must get done will get done without stressing or rushing.
I’m easily caught up in the crazy world of parenting; he keeps correcting my perspective: the kids will one day leave, but we are together for the remainder of this thing called life.
I stress about time and money; he reminds me that the money is always there when we need it.
I eat; he cooks.
I stress about my appearance and weight; he tells me I’m always beautiful (and means it!).
I think I need to get more done and work harder; he tells me to take a break, take a rest, take it easy.
I get caught up in doing; he asks me the why questions behind my actions.
No, My Guy doesn’t complete me, and I don’t complete him. But we make each other better people, together our lives our better, and I’m so glad I’m going through life with him.
Happy Anniversary, babe!